Crisis of Faith

My teenage son recently was faced with a very difficult decision about dating an unbelieving girl. Would he follow the “logical,” conventional wisdom of his peers (which was perfectly in line with his sinful heart), or would he swim alone, against the tide and follow the Bible’s commands?

This was especially difficult because his faith is still somewhat immature. He has been raised in a Christian home, taught the “right” thing to do, and always followed that path. He’s a good, compliant kid, and up to this point, his faith had never been truly tested. Was it real or was it just his parents’ faith? He was about to find out, because this time, the temptation was almost too much. His emotions (and the Enemy) were screaming at him, “What’s the big deal? Just do what you feel like doing for a change!”

What God made so clear to us is how perfect His design is for families. While our son’s faith was still becoming his own - while he was honestly not completely sold out on this whole “God” business - deep down he knew that he was to obey his parents in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1-2). That conviction led him to confess his struggle to us so that we could gently and lovingly help him make the right choice. We talked and prayed fervently for him, and by God’s grace, he willing submitted his will and followed our advice, probably mostly because he didn’t want to disappoint us.

Here are a few insights I gleaned as I was celebrating and praising the Lord afterward:

• As parents, we have a high privilege and responsibility to represent God to our kids until they are mature enough to really know and love Him themselves. Are we reflecting His character accurately so that they will “recognize” Him when He reveals Himself?
• God’s desire for all of us is that we would obey him out of love, not out of compulsion or to please others. For this reason, nurturing and guiding our children in their relationship with the Lord is a parent’s highest calling.
• It is so important to acknowledge our children’s faith for what it is at any given point - not where we want it to be, or where OUR faith is. God is not impatient with any of us, and He meets us where we are. We, as sinful human beings, certainly owe the same to our children.
• God’s promises can be trusted. I was so grateful to be able to tell my son that God WILL bless his obedience! I know that without a doubt, both from His Word and my own life’s experience. (Some of the verses I’ve put up in his bedroom as reminders are: 1Samuel 2:30b,  Proverbs 2: 7-8; and 3:5-6; Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Peter 1:6-7, and 3:10-12).

Ultimately, most teens will come to a crisis point like this, where their faith does start becoming their own. As parents, our faith is also being tested in these times. Will we panic and try to control or force the situation? Or will we use it as a teaching tool, modeling faith and trust as we let God’s Spirit work in their hearts? If we do, over time, it will be a beautiful thing to behold.