Testing the Anchor

As we parent our children and practice biblical principles of discipline, we may still find that at various ages of development, many children will “test the anchor” to see if it will hold. They are testing to see if you will respond as you did in the past. It is important that you persevere in bringing them back under your authority each time, because it will help prevent an extended rebellious state.

In this process, remember to be on guard for things that can exasperate a child. Check to make sure you are being attentive to them, listening carefully, and showing tenderness daily. Be watchful of their hearts.

Even children who purposefully defy their parents and go their own way for an extended period of time will remember the foundation of authority that their parents established. And this will go a long way in keeping them “afraid” of straying too far. The most rebellious children still want limits because they are a demonstration of love, security, and protection. Deep down they want their parents to fight for them and bring them back.

(excerpt from Entrusted with a Child’s Heart, chapter 11, p. 352-353)

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Lift up your children in prayer, taking special note of those who may be exhibiting strong-willed or rebellious tendencies. Ask God for wise and resilient hearts to stay united with your spouse and firm in the times to come. Ask Him for humility in evaluating the past and entrusting to Him mistakes that you may have made. Count on Him for guidance in the future.